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As a single mother, I find myself overwhelmed with feelings of failure. Am I doing a good job at raising my son to be a man of integrity? Am I giving him all the necessary tools he needs to succeed in life? Does he feel adored by me? Will I ever encounter the financial freedom I need to give him the same quality of life of his peers? I continued with this pity party until the point when someone told me that things will never show signs of change in my life until I change something I do every day. I needed to set some goals. Why wait until New Year’s to create a resolution that I would never fully commit too? So, I had to think long and hard about what a goal really is.
So, what exactly is a goal? Every great goal should begin with a dream. I needed to envision something more than what I could achieve for myself. Envisioning does not include an assignment of things to get done. To reach my full potential, I just need to remember to dream as big as my imagination allows. We all know that one famous phrase every teacher told their students. You can be whatever you want when you grow up. We would all go around with our cute and innocent voices and tell the class what we wanted to be. I want to be a firefighter when I grow up. I want to be a doctor when I grow up. The silly kid would say, I want to be an ALIEN when I grow up. And finally, someone would say, I want to be the President of the United States.
We believed in our hearts we could be anything. Even if it was something unattainable. Our imaginations were limitless. The sky was the limit. We grew a little older. We faced some disappointment and let downs. We felt true loss and heartaches. We became single mothers. But who really put the lid on our dreams? Whatever you desire for your life to become, start with a dream and then make it a goal.
Single mothers seem to battle with cash and bringing home the bacon, more than any other statistic on the planet. Supporting yourself and your children, while juggling the majority of alternate difficulties of simply being alive, can be overpowering … no doubt. How will I leave an inheritance for my children and my children’s children if I have a hard time handling the auto-pay for my T-Mobile bill? My first step to financial freedom was being aware of where every dollar is spent. That led me to cutting back on a lot of tiny expenses that added up very fast. I became the budget queen. I started to enjoy the same quality of life without the high bill. Movie night became Netflix and Hulu. While I love to eat out, I planned my outings to include the great “Kids Eat Free” deal. The money I was saving went into a saving account and I finally felt a sense of financial relief.
Investing quality time with your kid is vital. My daily routine would include drop off to before school care, struggle my way through morning traffic, work for 8 hours, struggle my way through evening traffic, and finally pick up from after-school care. I would then get home and immediately cook dinner, clean up the dishes, bath time, and then BOOM…it’s bedtime. My son’s bedtime is 8 pm by the way. I felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day. I needed to spend more time with him, however, I was depleted. At that point, I discovered that homework time can be quality time also. I’ve learned so much about my son’s personality through helping him with homework and listening to him read me stories. Plan to spend time with your kids on their school work but, learning should never stop. Although we spend most of our time teaching and nurturing our little ones, we should continue to educate ourselves as much as possible too. The more we learn, the more we can teach. Find courses to take for yourself. Read a book that can help advance your career. Whatever you learn you will be cheerful knowing you made the stride.
Set a goal that strengthens the relationships between you and some of your favorite people. It’s easy to neglect those relationships when we are always busy raising our kids. But prioritizing these relationships are great for our souls. Initiate a girl’s night out with your favorite friends. Invite folks over for dinner and a glass of wine. It’s important that the people we care about feel our love as well. Relationships tend to die when they are not nurtured on a regular basis. Send a text message from time to time that simply reads “I miss you”. You will be surprised how the smallest things can make such a big impact.
Whenever I’m having a hard time emotionally, I start oversleeping, but I always seem to be tired. My everyday routine just abruptly falls apart, and I can’t seem to get anything done. But once I started to look at the bigger picture, it gave me hope that better days will come. I may be late, but hey, I made it into the office. I may not have checked off everything on my grocery list, but dinner was made for that one day. The first thing I must help myself remember is to not get frustrated in the speed of accomplishing my goals. Regardless of the pace, development is still advancement. I needed to remember things that kept my psychological wellbeing on a positive and upward movement. I started to be a little more openminded about things and remembered to always stay flexible because every day gave me a chance to start over. Why beat myself up all the time about my mental and emotional capacity? Those negative self-talks and comparing myself to other people only hurt my self-empowerment and improvement. Instead, my goal was to remember that each day was a fresh start. Treat it that way. Avoid what may have been and take a gander at what can be.
Health and Fitness
I am certain I am by all account not the only person who feels the gym is their enemy. It took for my most loved pair of jeans to bust at the seams to force me into changing my way of life. My anxiety made me feel overpowered at the mere thought of cooking, cleaning, working out, or anything that didn’t include laying in the bed. So how can I get myself to the gym? Well, the answer was simple. Let’s bring the gym to me. I turned on my television and began doing yoga in my living room. It just took a couple of days for me to begin feeling the outcomes. It wasn’t so much loss of actual weight, but I lost various anxiety attacks that first week. Once I was in the habit of controlling my anxiety, it became easier in planning healthier meals. I cut back on processed foods. I watched my salt and sugar intake. And finally, essential oils became my new best friends. What are some things you could change to help with a healthier life? Make a goal that gets your feet moving. Start yoga in your living room, cook a healthy recipe from Pinterest.
“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.” -Plato